Breast Feeding.....uuuum, it sucks?

So, I know that just because I had problems breastfeeding my son, it does not necassarilly mean that I will have problems feeding my daughter....

But damn, that doesn't stop me worrying over every feed....which ofcourse means that I'm stressed, which reduces my milk....which, well, causes problems with my breast feeding.

See, I KNOW what my midwife would say: "just keep working on it, breast is BEST...yadda yadda yadda."

But listening to that crap and ignoring my instincts is exactly why my son became almost dangerously dehydrated 4 years ago.

So this time I have a supply of formula sitting in the cupboard just in case.... and I feel so guilty for having them there....almost like I've given up before I've really started....but I NEED them there, NEED to know that the very second my daughter appears to not be getting enough nourishment from me, I can provide her with some.

You see, the weight that lies on my shoulders is, I am solely responsible, at this moment in time, for ensuring my daughter is getting enough sustenance....I mean, there is no-one else who can or should take responsibility for her well being....and it is a terrifying prospect that I might fail....again.

And here comes the worry.

I'm sitting on my couch right now. Husband is working, baby-girl is sleeping in her bouncy chair and number one son is away on a class trip.

Life isn't perfect, but it's pretty bloody good.

From my lofty and rose-tinted position, it appears to me that anyone with kiddies must feel this way....must take great satisfaction in the knowledge that they are as happy and safe as can be guaranteed........however this is the real world, and horribly, this is not the case.

When I first read about this poor wee boy, I was horrified, disgusted and completely and utterly unable to understand how and why this was allowed to happen. After baby-girl was born, I couldn't even bring myself to think about the supposed 'rationale' behind the mothers behaviour, why she left her baby alone with an animal and how she managed to walk free from the courts.
It makes me sick and angry that there are people out there who can and do get away with this abuse every single day apparently with the only consequence being that they will 'possibly' receive a paltry jail sentence....or be able to use the 'get out of jail' card by pleading 'no knowledge' of what was going on!

Damn, I didn't mean to get all depressing...but I had to say something, even if it is just useless words stating the obvious.

Y'know, this is why I sometimes wish that I was what the title of this blog suggests: Blissfully Ignorant'.

Appropriate

see more dog and puppy pictures

Nostalgic Moments.

Good morning folks.

It's a lovely morning out here and due to the happy news that is 'Spandau Ballet' getting back together, I felt the need for a wee bit of 'GOLD'....enjoy the cheesiness!

Hiccupps.

Okay, is it wrong to giggle like a maniac when your 6 day old daughter has the hiccupps....whilst breast feeding......and sounds like a frog?

Oh, and through the wonder that is 'Dad Gone Mad', I have just found a new blog that I LOVE LOVE LOVE, and that has made me heehaw out loud like a donkey......with hiccupps.

I love hiccupps.

I also appear to have a very very sad little life right now. Forgive me and move on to another blog.

Side Note: It is funny when my daughter has hiccups whilst breast feeding......it is NOT funny when she hiccupps herself off of my breast and tries to take my nipple with her.

OUCH!

Finally!!

Well it happened at 01:08am Thursday morning....my baby girl arrived.

She is perfect and I am happy....the world is a good place.

Give me a week or so and I'll be whining about sore and cracked nipples ofcourse...but for now, I'm good, so have a great weekend folks!
xxx

Ack!

So I had some wine last night.......it didn't help.

My hips have decided to refuse to hold my weight any longer, which is understandable, and to top it all, I have toothache.

How much more can a lass be expected to tolerate before she takes her cheese-grater out into the world and randomly grates things into tiny little pieces????

B-Day (where 'B' stands for BUGGER ALL HAPPENING)

Okay, so I've waited 9 months, went through the hell of morning sickness, swelled to the size of a dinosaur (a very pregnant one), had sore hips, insomnia and been unable to tolerate the taste of one of my favourite drinks AND had a membrane sweep (DON'T ask!).......all in anticipation of this day, when by all accounts my unborn child should be making an appearance.......

And where is said blessed kiddlet?????

Staying nice and warm and comfy inside my belly that's where, little swine!!!

*The second birth is easier* they said!
*Things will happen much quicker this time around* they said!
*Don't fret, there's NO WAY you'll go over-due this time* they said!

Lying bastards, every one of them.

Yeah, sure, I knew it wasn't a guarantee that this time I'd be spared the extra ten days of uncomfortableness, that there was no way to be sure that things would progress naturally without the need for a painfull induction.....but still, this sucks!

Let me explain just why this sucks so badly when I know there are hundreds of thousands of women across the world experiencing this dilemma with nary a peep of complaint.

When I was pregnant with my son almost 5 years ago, firstly the pregnancy wasn't great, I ended up in hospital with Hyperemesis Gravidarum....it was nasty.......then my back went as my son was doing gymnastics and my poor body didn't cope well....THEN I went 10 days past my due date and was induced.......and it was SORE my friends, REALLY sore. It lasted almost 18 hours with my almost having an emergency C-Section, but finally managing to give birth to a 10lb baby boy and tearing so badly (yes, your eyes may water) that I had to have a blood transfusion.

SO the knowledge that this baby is bigger than my last and the prospect of having to go through all that again doesn't fill me with joy. I guess I fantasised that this time, it would happen naturally...it may still be very painfull but wouldn't feel like someone was trying to rip my insides out.

Okay, I need to stop hyperventilating....apart from the fact that bending over to get my head between my knees is bloody impossible at this stage, the sight of a human-shaped pregnant hippo-like monster breathing rapidly ain't pretty.

Right, so curries, sex, gin, hot baths........any other suggestions for making this happen a little more spontaneously????

Pretty please?
xx

I Got Nuthin'

So, I start a blog and then immediately my mouth runs dry and my brain dries up.....what's up with that???

I could write about so many things.

I mean, I could write about the joys of being almost 9 months pregnant and living in a caravan (too scary a story to start with), my last job which I loved but had SO much fodder for writing, my sons recent foray into martial arts (would involve a rant about bullying and parents who don't teach their drool-laden spawn to play nice) or even a bit about my past which involves a brief stint in the Royal Navy...........................BUT......................

I'm just not sure any of it would be that interesting.

Having trawled through some of my favourite blogs for the first time in almost 8 months, I'm reminded of why I had attacks of inferiority last time.

Hmmmmmm, perhaps a wee bout of swearing would clear my head of it's fugginess and let loose the creative beast within...........it's worth a try at least.

So, without further ado........and be warned, this is Scottish swearing at it's best, so be prepared......

FUCKBASTARDSHITMOTHERCRAPPINGSONOFAWHOREBITCHSLAPPERTROLL...........

pant pant pant

Maybe it needs a few minutes to work?

Well, in the meantime, I guess I could put up a little 'You Tube' fun....that's always good for a cheat. So here's some funky Vanessa Mae for you....oh but don't be fooled, I'm breaking you in to my EXTREMELY varied music choices gently.



If I'm not back in 5 minutes it means that my brain is infact as barren as a very very barren thing!!

Not So New

For the record, the title of this blog doesn't so much describe me as the way I sometimes wish I were, but more about that later.
This is actually my second blog. The first died of natural causes last year and I won't bore you by telling you it's name because most likely, you would never have visited it, or read any of my humble bletherings, so out with the old and in with the new.

Rather than put the usual personal description at the side of this page, I'm going to do it in this post, thereby getting all the not so exciting me-trivia out of the way.

I'm Scottish, older than 21 but younger than 90 and a big fan of red wine and foot massages. My husband and son have the knack of both delighting me and pissing me off at the same time, and according to my midwife, I'm 8 days away from giving birth to a Giganta-baby. I smoke, I swear and have been known to go skinny-dipping in freezing Scottish lochs. I can't stand rudeness or lack of manners, but I love bad dancing and cheesy music at weddings. My reasons for starting this blog are simple and few; to regularly clear space in my head, by putting my bletherings down on this page and to keep myself amused. I won't promise writings of great intelligence, or even humour and I certainly won't be trying to make any political statements.

Generally, if you happen to stumble across this blog and it gives you mindless fluff to take up 5 minutes of your day, so be it.

Now, in regards to the title of my wee space on the internet 'Blissfully Ignorant', as I said before, it doesn't so much describe me as much as it describes the way that I wish that I could sometimes be. Life in itself is a bitch of a thing and I think that some days would be easier if I could wander through it without paying much attention, which leads me nicely onto the last thing I'll say about myself: I am a 'card-carrying member of the League of Lazy Bitches'.

So, you came, you saw, you read, hope you liked and have a nice night.