Breast Feeding.....uuuum, it sucks?

So, I know that just because I had problems breastfeeding my son, it does not necassarilly mean that I will have problems feeding my daughter....

But damn, that doesn't stop me worrying over every feed....which ofcourse means that I'm stressed, which reduces my milk....which, well, causes problems with my breast feeding.

See, I KNOW what my midwife would say: "just keep working on it, breast is BEST...yadda yadda yadda."

But listening to that crap and ignoring my instincts is exactly why my son became almost dangerously dehydrated 4 years ago.

So this time I have a supply of formula sitting in the cupboard just in case.... and I feel so guilty for having them there....almost like I've given up before I've really started....but I NEED them there, NEED to know that the very second my daughter appears to not be getting enough nourishment from me, I can provide her with some.

You see, the weight that lies on my shoulders is, I am solely responsible, at this moment in time, for ensuring my daughter is getting enough sustenance....I mean, there is no-one else who can or should take responsibility for her well being....and it is a terrifying prospect that I might fail....again.

And here comes the worry.